My Sunshine
by WolfGirl-911
Summary: Renesmee has the perfect guy on her reach but she still falls for somebody else. Somebody she’s not supposed to have. Will she be able to be happy with the help of her brother? I suck at summaries, but please read it anyway : *Possible lemons*
1. Chapter 1

**I'm sorry if you don't like this story or if my English isn't perfect.**

**But anyway this is my first story so I hope you like it :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the twilight characters or its story.**

**...**

My name is Renesmee Carlie Cullen.

My parents are vampires but my mother was still human when she became pregnant with me. I mean, with us, me and my twin brother Will.

William Anthony Cullen.

Even though he is my twin we are nothing alike. I have bronze colored hair that falls down my lower back in ringlets and our mother's eyes, with a chocolate tone. But my brother has straight, spiky brown hair and green eyes, just like our father used to have, before he became a vampire, of course.

My brother is a great guy. He knows me better that I know myself. I would do anything for him, just like I know that he would do anything for me. And he is also really good looking, that's why most of the girls in our school walk around after him like little abandoned puppies.

Oh puppies… That reminds of Jake. You see, I'm his imprint. We are bound to be together for all eternity. I'm supposed to fall in love with him and live happily ever after but things usually don't go the way they are suppose to be.

That's why instead of being in love with Jakey I have this huge crush on Jasper, my uncle. Well technically he's not my uncle, but he is. And he is also married, so there is no way that there could ever be something between us.

Oh well, that's life I guess…

I'm just the kind of girl that doesn't fall for the one guy that would never hurt her and that it's perfect for her. And instead falls for the one guy that she knows she can't have.

Isn't my life perfect or what?

...

**I know it's not much and I will update the first chapter as soon as possible but I still want to know what you think so please hit that pretty green button down there.**

**Thanks :D**

**xoxo**


	2. Wake up

**So, this is the first official chapter. It's still a little bit short but I plan on making them bigger**

…

_I have no idea where I am. All I know is that it's one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen in my life. _

_All I can see are tree, they are everywhere, big small, it doesn't matter. I t reminds me of one of those tropical forests in Amazonia. And here I am, standing in the middle of a little clearing. Here I see grass and flowers all around. I don't think I've ever seen so much color put together all my life. But the most beautiful image of them all was right behind me. The ocean. If there's something that can calm me down with a blink of an eye is the ocean. I don't know if it's the color or the smell or maybe even the light breeze I always feel when I go to the beach, but there is definitely something about it that's so soothing I can't barely describe what it feels like. _

_That's when I hear it._

_Somebody calling my name. _

"_Ren! Where are you? I need you. Please… I need you! Why won't you look at me??"_

_I look around but all I can see is trees and flowers. _

"_I'm right here, Ren." That's when I see it. A strange figure walking towards me. If only I could see his face…_

"_Don't be afraid my love. Everything is going to be alright."_

…

"_Renesmee! Renesmee!" _

"Renesmee! Wake up! You have to get ready to go to school or your brother will leave without you! "

Oh. My. God. It was just a dream. It feels so real every time I have it. How in hell can a person have the same dream for over a week? It's starting to get annoying. If only I knew who that voice belongs to…

"Hey little sister! C'mon get out of bed and get ready! It's our first as mature adults!"

"Get out of my bed Will! And my bedroom! Oh and stop calling me your 'little sister', I'm like 5 minutes younger than you!" I barely open my eyes while I try to push him off of my king size bed.

"Jesus, aren't you bitchy today. Just get out of bed before dad comes here."

"Just get out!" And you can roll your eyes all you want but nothing is going to get me out of bed today, no way… Nothing!

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, get out of that bed and get dressed immediately before I have to do it for you!"

Oh right, nothing but my very angry father.

"I'm coming, I'm coming."

"Haha, told you!" Damn my brother and his smirking.

"Will, little brother? I'm going to say this once and only once. Either you get out of here right now or I'm going to shove my foot up your ass! Got it?!" Ok, now I was mad.

"Ok, ok. Relax… I'm leaving"

"Thanks" *under my breath* For nothing…

"I heard that!"

"Sorry, sorry." Forgot about the vampire ears.

Finally, all alone.

As I go for the bathroom to take a quick shower I can't stop wondering who that voice belongs to. Oh how much I wish it would belong to my beautiful, strong, blond, vampire.

Jasper. My Jazzy. My 2nd best friend. My life. My everything. Oh god that sounds so weird when you think it like that. Mostly because there is no way that he will ever see me as more than just a friend. But hey that's my life, disappointment after disappointment. I guess I'm just really used to it.

It's probably for the best if I just stop thinking about this and just get dressed. I walk towards my overly sized closet (Alice's request) and take out a pair of white skinny jeans and a tank top with grey and purple stripes. And of course a pair of black high heels, after all they're something I just can't live without.

That's when I go down stairs just to find my brother already getting through the front door.

"What the Hell? Wait for me!" I can't believe he was actually going to leave without me when he's the one who is always late.

"God, stop yelling! Vampire ears remember?" Whatever…

"Fine, fine…"

"Hey Ren? Can you actually believe that we are finally 18?" Wow, he really was cheerful. I guess I'm just not in the mood to celebrate the fact that this is it. This is how I'm going to be like for the rest of my life. Oh well I better put on a happy face before he notices that something is up.

"Hey Ren, are you ok?" Fuck, he's on to me. At list he finally stopped calling me that stupid childish name. 'Nessie' just isn't an appropriate name for an 18 year old is it?

*mouthing* "We'll talk later." I just don't want to have this talk in front of our parents.

"Watch your language young lady" Oh right, my father's a mind reader. I forgot about that. Ups…

"Get out of my head Dad!" He can be so annoying sometimes.

"You know it's not something I can stop right?"

"Yeah, Yeah… I know Dad"

"Good. Now give me a goodbye kiss and take my car to school if you want to, it is your birthday after all isn't it? Even though technically it's your seven's birthday, not your eighteen's."

"Wow, thanks dad." I better get out of here before he brings up the fact that I'm only seven, again.

Right before I was going through the front door my good luck strikes again.

"Hey honey, don't forget about your curfew. Just because today is your birthday and you look like an 18 year old doesn't mean you are one." Oh right, the party. I almost forgot about that.

"I know dad. Bye. Love you."

"Love you too honey. Bye Will."

"Bye dad."

"Hey Ren? Can I ask you a question?" Hum… He must be up to something.

"Shoot"

"Dad didn't specify if we were supposed to take the Volvo or the Ferrari, did he?" I never thought I would be so happy to see my brothers smirking face.

"No he didn't. No he didn't."

…

**I hope you liked it. **

**Suggestions are welcome and I would also want to know what you would like to see Ren do at her birthday party. I'm thinking of something wild…**

**Please review :D**

**xoxo**


	3. Strange Feelings

**Chapter 3 – Strange feelings**

**RPOV**

As we pull over at our usual parking space in the front of our high school I can't stop having the strange feeling that someone's watching me. It's probably all in my head though. I mean, everybody is staring at us because of the Ferrari and I still think that there's something more to it. God, I'm going crazy. First that weird dream and now this. Just great… But still, I can't stop looking down at my feet to see if I forgot to put shoes on. Hum… No, that's not it. What can it be then? It's probably just a bad feeling but still… Weird, just weird…

"Hey, Ren? Are you listening to me?" What? Oh, I forgot to get out of the car. Great, now he's going to think I'm crazy. Well, maybe I am. Who knows…

"Hello?? Are you there?" Oh right, I forgot to answer, I should probably say something.

"We should go to class" Way to go Ren, now he's not going to suspect a thing for sure.

"Right… Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"Well, because you weren't listening to anything that I was saying back in the car and I know that there is something going on that you couldn't tell me in front of dad… So?"

"So what?"

"So, what was it?" Oh God, can't he just leave me alone, I don't want to talk about this.

"It's no big deal. It's just this weird dream I keep having. And this morning I keep having this weird vibe, like there's somebody watching me. Apart from all the people at the school of course."

"Oh… Well I'm sure it's nothing but I'll keep my eyes open about anybody with strange behavior around you. And do you mind showing me the dream?" It's in moments like this that I just love my gift.

So I put my head to his face and show him everything. After I'm finish he says something that kind of startles me.

"That voice… I know that voice. It's the voice uncle Jasper did when I was a kid and he wanted to scare me with horror stories. But I don't think he ever told you any, you were always his favorite."

Ok, that was it. I was speechless. I couldn't form a word and I hardly doubt I could even make a sound. My mouth was widely open. I think my eyes were even starting to dilate a little.

*Snapping his fingers in front of my face* "Are you ok Ren? You don't look ok… Do you want to skip school? We can just tell dad that you weren't feeling good or something."

"What? Oh right… Hum… Yeah, sure. We should go. Let's just go back to the car."

"Ren? You're still inside the car." Right, of course now I'm sure I'm going crazy. I just still can't believe that the man in my dreams is Jazz. How could I not recognize him? God, I think I need to take a swim in the Ocean or something. Oh, wait, that's it!

"Hey, Will, do you want to go cliff diving?"

He gives me his biggest smile and says "You bet I want to!"

As we drive full speed towards the cliffs I have that strange feeling again. And that's when it happens. That's when I see it. A strange figure running after the car but still inside the forest. My senses are a lot better than my brother's and the ones that I'm suppose to have being only half-vampire and all so I could definitely recognize the smell. It was so intoxicating that I have no idea how I didn't recognize at first.

It was him. My object of pure desire.

I've learn how to project my thoughts into people's heads without having to touch them. Not images or memories though. But words I can. So that's what I'm going to do.

_What are you doing here? Did dad send you to look after us? Just go away we'll be fine, we're just going cliff diving. I'll be back one hour before the party starts. _

But he keeps going. So for one second, just one second I thought that maybe he was there because he wanted to see me. Because he wanted me. So I did what would probably turn up to be the stupidest thing I have ever done because either it means that he wants me and that's bad. I think. Or he doesn't and I'll be crushed. But either way I did it.

_Are you here because of me? Did you just wanted to see me? Did you just miss me? _

_Stop running for 10 seconds if that's the reason. Please._

Oh. My. God. He stopped. He actually stopped. And so did my heart. And here I am focusing to try and count without even realizing that Will was singing at the top of his lungs God knows for how long.

But anyway, here it goes.

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

…

My mind starts going though every word he ever said to me. Every touch. Every tear he let me stain his clothing with. Every hug he ever gave me. Every kiss on the cheek. Every movement. Everything.

My heart starts racing like it's on fire. It feels like it's going to jump of my chest. Like all the important moments I ever had mean nothing compared to this single moment.

Because it takes a life time to build something. But it only takes one moment to change everything.

I thought I had a crush on him. But oh boy this was no crush. Because now I know that I'm 100% in love with him.

"Hey Ren, why do you look so happy all of the sudden?" Oh little brother… If you only knew.

"Oh it's nothing. I think I'm just getting in the mood to do some celebrating!"

"Really?? Oh My God. I thought I was going to have to celebrate all by myself."

As we pull up at the cliff I say "Well little brother. You're not going to. So scream it loud and make me proud. HAPPY EIGHTEEN'S ANNIVERSERY!!"

And as he screams I jump. I do it like I've never done it before. All dressed and completely happy. This might just become the best birthday of my life after all.

I'm already in the water when Will jumps. But I barely hear him came in. I'm just so distracted by the most handsome vampire I've ever seen who just happens to be on top of the cliff staring back at me.

_Thanks for answering truthfully to my question Jazz. It was the best birthday present I could ever get._

I think that he expressed some sort of smile before he vanished again. But I really don't care. Right now all that is in my mind is the party. The party where me and him are going to be at. With nobody else from the family there. Well nobody except for Emmet but he's cool.

"We should probably go back home. We need to get ready for the party right Ren?"

"Yeah, right. Let's go."

While we get home and park on drive way dad is already there with his angry face on. He must be pissed that we took the Ferrari and skipped school.

"Hey dad! What's up?" Way to go Will, if you just pretend everything's fine maybe he'll forget about it. Or maybe not.

"What's up? What's up? You took my Ferrari without asking and on top of that I just got a call from your teachers saying that both of you didn't go to school today. For your information, that's what's up!"

"Geez… Sorry dad. The hole taking the Ferrari thing was my fault. I'm the one who suggested it since you said we could take you car but you didn't specify which one. So I just thought…"

"Stop it right there Will. I didn't specify anything because I thought you would be wise enough to know that I meant you could take the Volvo! Oh, and next time just don't think ok?"

"Fine…" I could tell by dad's face that Will must be cursing in his mind, he hates when we do that and he's practically fuming.

Will was about to something and I know he's going to try and protect me again but I'm not going to let him.

"Hey, dad? I'm sorry about the hole skipping class today. That's my fault. I wasn't feeling good so I told Will I wasn't going to go to school and he insisted that he would stay with me since it's our birthday and all. I'm really sorry daddy…" Thank God I can shield myself from him or he would never believe the innocent little girl thing I usually play.

"Oh, it's ok honey… Are you feeling better? We can reschedule the party if you don't feel like going." Oh no. There's no way I'm skipping that party.

"It's ok dad. I'm feeling better now. We went for a swim in the Ocean. You know how that always makes me feel better."

"Yes I do know that. Well, ok than. Go get ready. It's already 6 o'clock and you have a party to attend to.

"Thanks dad."

And with that I make the biggest grin I can towards my brother who has he's mouth wide open with how amazing I can get off of things with dad. What can I say? It's a talent. And I'm the number one at it.

**So, what do you think?**

**I'm going to put the party in the next chapter since it's going to have a lot going on at it.**

**Hope you liked it :D**

**So, hit that pretty little green button down there :)**

**Thanks xoxo **


	4. Just breathe

**Chapter 4 – Just breathe **

**RPOV**

"Oh My God, you look amazing honey. I can't believe you pull that out without my help"

My aunt Alice is really charming sometimes isn't she? But she's actually right. I can't believe how amazing I look, and I did all of this without her help. I guess I feel really good about myself right about now.

Oh wait, here comes the guilt. How can I be this happy when I'm about to seduce her husband. I really am a horrible person aren't I? I guess there's just a little part of me that doesn't want him to be lured by me. Because if he does we'll be hurting a lot of people and those people are the ones we care about the most in this horrible and unfair world. What am I suppose to do now? Just forget about him? I've tried and I can't do it, I just can't.

"I'm so proud of you honey, you look so beautiful. You really have grown to be a very special young woman haven't you?"

"Oh. Thanks mom. I really don't deserve those king words. I really don't."

"Don't be silly. You should be proud of yourself. You really should."

"I'll try… But thanks anyway."

"You're welcome sweetie."

How can I be doing this? Thinking like this when I know my family would be so disappointed at me if they found out. I feel like crap right now. Only one thing could sheer me up right now and I know if that would happen it would only make me feel worst.

Oh great, here comes my good luck.

"Wow, Ren… You look… I… I don't have words that can describe how gorgeous you are right now."

Damn my dazzling vampire, why does he always have to do this. Make me blush like these. Stupid, jackass, annoying, kind, beautiful, sweet vampire of mine… Oh no Ren, you can't think like that! He's pure evil making you feel like that.

"Thanks Jazz."

I guess they really were right. I did look beautiful with my red, short, strapless dress. I love it; it's one of my favorites. And even though I know Alice would rather see me with my hair up I know how Jazz loves to see my red curls flowing down my back. So I just left my curls hang loose for the night.

"Hey Ren. You look amazing."

"Thanks Jake. What are you doing here? I thought you had some pack thing to take care of."

"I did and I still do but I wanted to give your birthday present now since I don't know when I'm going to see you again."

Even though it hurts me I know he's right. Now that Sam got down from his alpha position because of Emily and the baby he left Jake to take care of both packs which means he's been having so much to do that I hardly see him anymore.

"Oh, ok Jake. But you really didn't have to give me anything."

"Don't be like that Ren. You know I would never do that. So do you want your present or what?"

"Hum… You know how I love presents. Give me."

Wow, it's so beautiful. It's one of the most gorgeous necklaces I have ever seen. It's simple just like him. It has a metal chain and at the bottom it has a little heart.

"Wow, I don't even know what to say. Thank you so much Jake. You really are the best friend I could ever have." And it was so true.

"You're welcome honey. Anything for my little princess. Oh and before I forget. You see that heart over there. It means that you'll always own my heart. It will beat for you till the end of times."

"You're so sweet Jake. I don't deserve all of that but thanks anyway. I better go now. I have a party to get to."

"Ok. Bye my Renesmee." After that he whispers in my ear "You will always be my Nessie…"

"Goodbye my Wolf. Love you."

"Love you to."

Only now I realize that everybody is staring at us. I even think Jasper looks like he's in pain but that's probably just my imagination.

*blushing* "C'mon Will, let's go. Bye guys."

"Goodbye you two. Stay safe."

"Always are, mom."

And with that we drove to a huge clearing in middle of the woods that my brother and I found a couple of months ago. We thought that with some sort of coating for the floor it would be perfect.

The car drive has been filled with a very awkward silence. I wish somebody would say something but it doesn't look like that's going to happen any time soon. Right now I just want to get to the party and get drunk as fast as I can.

"Look sis, when we get to the party I want you to promise me something, can you do that?" Wow, this isn't like him at all…

"Of course Will, whatever you want."

"Promise me you won't do anything you might regret. I just, don't want you getting hurt that's all."

"Oh… I guess I can do that."

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise."

Why would he be saying these things? Does he know about Jazz? Wait, no, that's impossible, I didn't tell him anything but then again he knows me better than I now myself sometimes.

…

"Hey guys!" Wow, this looks amazing! My aunts really worked hard to make my party the best.

"Let's get this party started!" Gosh Will, don't be so hysterical…

This really looks beautiful. There are lights everywhere hanging from the trees. And there's also some chairs and tables around the dance floor, and everything is so white! The floor is white, the tables and chairs are white. Even the Dj's mixer is white.

"Hey girl, wanna get something to drink?" Of course my amazing best friend Melanie would know what I want.

"Hell yeah I do!"

And with that we go over the table with drinks and get ourselves some shots. Wait scratch that. Lots and lots of shots!

Half an hour later I was already wasted and dancing with random guys. Like I always do. I just haven't dance with jasper. Where is he anyway? I haven't seen him since we got here. Oh there he is. As I excuse myself from my current dancing partner I go over to him.

"Hey Jazz! You having fun?"

"Yeah… And you're drunk."

"So?" Sure he's right but it's none of his business so he can't just go and judge me like that!

"You're supposed to have fun without having to be completely wasted." Maybe I'm being mean but what the Hell it's my party and his not going to screw that up.

"Well Jasper, I'm gonna tell you something. What I do and what I don't do it's none of your business! Got it?" I really was being harsh but it's my party and I get to have fun the way I want to have fun.

"Fine… Than go off and screw some guys while you're at it."

"Maybe I will!"

And with that I stormed out of his way and went to find me the cutest guy I could find. Of course this would probably be a huge mistake but right now I'm drunk and mad so I don't really give a shit.

And that's when I see him. The perfect lab rat. The hottest guy in school. Not as hot as Jasper and Jake but still really close. And he probably won't give a shit if I stick around afterwards so… There's no harm in it is there?

"Hey! What's your name?" Wow, he looks even cutter than he used to. But then again that might be the alcohol talking.

"It's Chase. Edward Chase. But my friends call me Eddie, Chase and sometime Eddie Chase. So you can pick the one that you like the most." Hum… He actually does have a really cute smile.

"Hum… Then it will be Eddie." I give him my best sexy smile. And he seems to like it because even with hole I'm superman appearance, he still blushed a little. I think.

"So, what's your name?"

"Oh, it's Renesmee. But you can call me whatever you want. I've been call Nessie, Ren… But you can make one up for yourself."

"Hum… How about Nezz?"

"Sounds great." Oh right I almost forgot. "Do you wanna go some place?"

"Sure thing Nezz."

And just like that we headed towards the forest.

As we reached a place where nobody could hear us, even vampires, I stopped for a second to tell him something but I never got a chance to do it because in one swift movement I was being fearlessly kissed. I don't think I have ever been kissed like that. That much passion kind of reminds me of what I see in my parents' eyes but I had just met him so that's impossible I guess.

One minute later he licked and sucked on my bottom lip asking for entrance which I gladly gave him. As our tongues met I just couldn't help to moan in his mouth, and I think he liked it because right after that he pinned me against a tree and as a wrapped my legs around his waist he started to kiss my neck and the top of my cleavage.

And almost like I'm begging for more, which I actually was, I unwrapped my legs from his waist and start taking my dress off ever so smoothly. I think he was practically drooling as he saw me half naked in front of him. But even though I wasn't wearing a bra for some reason I didn't feel uncomfortable and so I started taking his shirt and his pants off leaving him just like me.

Almost completely naked and needing of more. Just like he had read my thoughts he took off his boxers and my very wet panties so he could push me again against the tree. Quickly with one swift movement he inserted one finger inside of me and started pumping. I practically came right there and then. God knows I'm not a virgin but that made me feel like I've never felt before.

I started moaning louder and louder and since he obviously saw that I was enjoying his little teasing he pushed another finger into me. But I couldn't take it anymore so all I could say was "Just fuck me already."

He was a little bit shocked with how bluntly I said it but God damnit I was drunk and horny and he just wouldn't stop teasing me.

But I guess my words worked because suddenly I felt him slid into me and I had to really hold myself with how good that felt. Feeling him inside of me just made me forget about Jasper, Jake and my promise to Will. All that mattered in that moment was me and him. Nothing could make that moment even better than it already was.

He starts pushing in and out of me until we finally came together screaming each other names like old lovers. After we catch our breath he pulls out of me and puts his clothes back on just like me.

After all of this I just don't know what to say to him, I mean what's a person supposed to say to guy you just met and fucked? So I just started walking away but he went after me and grabbed my hand.

"Can I see you again?" I guess he's not the kind of guy that fucks and leaves after all. I think I kind of like it.

"Sure. You know my brother right?"

"Yeah I do."

"Well, than you can ask him for my phone number."

"Ok. Goodbye Nezz." He kisses me in the cheek and all I can say while I blush madly is

"Bye…"

When I went back to the party I had the feeling that someone's was watching me but since I know that person is Jasper I really didn't care about it. For the rest of the party I just danced like crazy with Mel as I continued giving Eddie some dirty looks.

When everybody were already too drunk and high to walk, people just started to lay down some place to sleep it off before going home so that's what me and my brother went to do. But when I was about to get some sleep he says something that almost made burst into tears.

"I can't believe you broke your promise. You promised me you weren't going to do anything you weren't supposed to do but you still went into the middle of the woods to fuck Chase. I'm only saying these so you don't get the chance to blame me for telling Jake where you were. He said he needed to talk to you so I thought why not tell him since you said you weren't going to anything bad. I guess I was wrong trusting you like that… Anyway all I know is that he's more heart broken than he has ever been. I don't think he'll ever be able to forgive you for doing such a thing."

"What?! Why would he be mad? It has nothing to do with him!"

"Are you that stupid Ren? He's in love with you since like forever! It's like you're the only person who doesn't see it."

"But… I… I didn't… mean to…" I couldn't even speak with how much I was sobbing…

So I did what only a coward like me can do. I ran. I ran as fast as I could.

I didn't know where I was going or what I was going to do. All I knew was that I had to get out of that place.

And that's why I'm laying down on the beach crying like there's no tomorrow.

In one day I almost cheated on my aunt with her husband.

I yelled at the one person that never hurt me.

I broke a promise.

And if that wasn't enough I broke the heart of the one who thought I was his everything. My best friend. The light to my darkest days. And without that light all I can do is sink in the darkness. But I guess it's what I deserve. Spending my days in a place where _**I just can't**__**breathe.**_

**I put a lot of effort into this one so please tell me what you think… Do you like Eddie or what?**

**Oh and you can also find in my profile how I picture some stuff from the story.**

**Please Review :D**

**xoxo**


	5. Everybody’s sun

**Chapter 5 –Everybody's sun**

…

_5 weeks later _

**WPOV**

It's been over a month since the party.

I don't think I have ever seen my baby sister so hurt before. After she ran I know I should have gone after her but I was so mad that I thought I would have been making things worse if I had gone after her since I would probably just yell at her.

Maybe I was wrong. I don't know now. I don't know anything anymore.

Actually, I know one thing. I know that my sister has been in so much pain that I can actually feel it too. Maybe it's a twin thing. I don't really know…

Uncle Jasper and Jake won't talk to her. I finally know about her feelings for Jasper, not that she would tell me. She doesn't tell me anything these days.

When she came home after the party it was already 10 in the morning and for a week after that all she ever did was cry. She wouldn't get out of bed. She ate, she went to the bathroom and she cried… I held her through every single drop of tears. I would sing to her so she would fall asleep and I would try to comfort her. It didn't help but I still did it.

After a week had passed the crying stopped and for one second I thought everything would be okay. But I was terribly wrong.

Suddenly she started to get out of bed and eat in the kitchen and step by step she started taking showers and getting dressed. I guess it didn't really matter since we were on summer holydays but still… It mattered. A lot.

Everybody thought she was doing better but they were wrong. After a while she just stopped caring about what was around her. She barely ate. She didn't talk unless somebody talked to her. It's like her body was there but her soul was lost somewhere where nobody could reach her. Saying she's depressed is an understatement. She's more than depressed. It looks like she's dead inside. It's an awful thing to witness.

I tried talking to Jasper and Jake. To see if they would just talk to her but they were way to mad. They still are I guess…

I don't know what will happen to her. My sister. My life. She means the world to me. And this person that walks around the house it's not her. She used to light up everything around her. She really was some sort of sunshine. But now…

The sun is gone.

And all there is to do is hope that the something or somebody will bring our sun back.

***** **

**EPOV**

I hate to say this sometimes. Not that I say it out load but still… It feels like I have lost my daughter. She feels like she has lost everything that ever meant something to her. And so have I.

Bella is so sad and so depressed that she has started to blame me. Like it's my fault my daughter is in this state. The whole family thinks I should do something. If they only knew how hard this is they would never tell me those things. I've tried really hard to get her to talk to me but all I hear is some sort of sounds.

Nobody knows what happened. Of course Will most know. After all they know everything about each other.

It's in times like this I would love to hear her thoughts.

But I can't.

So as my family keeps falling apart all I can do is sit around and wait.

Wait for our sunshine to come back.

Wait for a miracle I guess…

*******

**JPOV**

My niece. She means the world to me. Ever since she was a baby I have felt this pull towards her.

I love Alice. I really do. But through the years that I have been with Alice I have never felt like she needed me. Not completely anyway. She loves me with all her heart. She wants to be with me. She feels like she needs to be with me but she doesn't actually need me.

I know if I would ever disappear she would pull herself up and start over. That's just the way she is. And I don't blame her. I would want it to be like that. I guess you could describe Alice as her being her own sunshine. She doesn't need me to that since she can do it herself.

But Ren isn't like that.

Of course I know that she's a force of nature and that she's one of the strongest people I have ever met. But I also know that she's only like that because she has always had somebody with her to light up her life.

Sometimes that was Jake. And sometimes that was me.

I guess that's why I have always felt that pull. She needs me. Nobody has ever needed me before. Not even my own wife. Not like that anyway.

And now that she doesn't have me or Jake her life is broken. It hurts so much to just let her be like that.

But I know that if I don't do it I might fall into a very dark place. I might even start a fight between vampires and werewolves. And since the treating is over and everybody get along so well this days, I just can't let that happen. So I can't be her sunshine anymore.

Jake has to do it. Or maybe Will… I don't know.

All I know is that I love her enough to walk away from the biggest mistake she could ever make.

And if we never go back to the way we used to be I will have lost my sunshine forever. Bu that's the price to pay for making such a horrible mistake as falling in love with Renesmee Carlie Cullen.

She's my nice.

My best friend.

My sunshine.

She's everything to a lot of people. And she's lost. Lost in a place where nobody can find her.

…

**Sorry for taking so long. I just haven't had any time to write but I promise I will update soon.**

**Please hit that green button and tell me your thoughts. **

**Thanks for reading :D**


	6. Hope

**Chapter 6 – Hope**

**RPOV**

_Another 3 weeks later…_

_Oh God! Where am I? What's that smell? It smells like something just got burned in here. And why is it so dark?_

"_Hey?! Is there anybody here?" I shouted. Nobody answered though. _

_That's when I see a very dimed light coming through a door… I think. So I go through it only to find the worst image I could ever see. _

_Jacob. Jasper. Will. Some of the most important men in my life were strapped against a wall. They were half naked and bleeding all over. There were chains and candles everywhere. They also had been burned. That's why I could feel that awful smell. That's when I finally notice the other three men in the room. I recognized them in a heartbeat. They were members of the Volturi guard. Their names are Felix, Demetri and Alec…_

_I couldn't move. They just stared at me with their bloody eyes like if they were judging me. _

_Three of the most horrible men in the world were judging me?? As I thought of what I was doing in that place I finally realized I was one of them. I had a cape on just like theirs. I was a member of the Volturi guard. They weren't judging me. They were waiting for me to finish my job. To finish torturing and killing my beloved ones. _

_And as I look towards a mirror that was across the room I notice my eyes. They were a crimson red color. The same color as blood. I was horrified with myself. I couldn't move. All I could do was scream._

I woke up screaming and panting. I felt breathless. That was the first night I had dreamed such an awful dream and nobody came to hold me. I live in a house of vampires. They don't sleep so they always came. Except that night.

I couldn't bring myself to think they didn't care about me anymore so I automatically thought that something bad happened that prevented them from coming.

So I put on my slippers and went downstairs to find my family doing what they normally do. My dad was playing the piano and my mom was at the kitchen reading a magazine or something. We didn't live with rest of the family but they would take turns watching me so everybody could have a night of rest. But not that night. That night nobody came. Nobody cared. So I did what any normal person would have done.

"What the hell dad?!" As I shouted at him he turned to face me.

"What's wrong sweetie?"

"What's wrong? What's wrong?! You have the nerve to ask me what's wrong?!" Fuck that. I lost it. I finally realized I had been holding back a lot because in that moment I broke down.

"Well dad, this might came as a surprised to you but when your daughter wakes up in the middle of the night screaming you're supposed to go to her bedroom and rock her back to sleep!"

"Like that would help…"

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Look honey… I love you. You're my daughter. Of course I love you. And sure I can go to your room and make it all better for five minutes but then everything goes back to normal! You go back to not caring about your own life and I and your mother will go back to hating each other. So what do you want me to do?! Huh? Tell me! Because I don't know anymore, I really don't. There's nothing I can do that will make things better. Why can't anybody just realize that?!"

I guess I wasn't the only one who broke down. After that I had nothing else to say. I guess there was just nothing I could do to make things right. Only then I realized how I had been hurting my family. So I decided to stop.

Stop acting like such a brat. So the ones I love hate me, so what? My family is in pain because of me, so what? My life was probably ruined, so what?

I had to get over my problems and do what's right.

So I went to my bedroom and got back to bed. I hadn't cried in a while. But that night I didn't hold back the tears anymore. I let them flow down like rivers. I wanted to make sure that was going to be the last I felt sorry for myself.

After an hour of crying and sobbing someone unexpected came into my room. He laid down on my bed next to me and he hold me and he cried with me. But he didn't say a word. None of us did. I guess there were just no words to be said. But that moment was perfect. Just like that I realized our relationship would eventually go back to normal. That was just the way it had to be.

He hadn't showed up since the night of the party. Since he saw me coming home in somebody else's arms.

_*Flashback*_

_After what seemed like an eternity someone finally found me. It was probably around 9 in the morning. I guess I just cried on the beach for the rest of the night. Of all people I just couldn't believe it was actually him._

"_Eddie? What are you doing here?"_

"_I live near the beach so I usually come down here for a morning swim. What are you doing here crying like these? What happened?" I didn't know what to say. I guess I didn't really know what had happened._

"_Everything that wasn't supposed to I guess…" _

"_Do you want to talk about it?"_

"_No."_

_Do you want to me to drive you home?"_

"_Yes."_

_So that's what he did… _

_He drove me home. I don't remember much since I was practically asleep. All I know is that he carried me to my bedroom and told my parents how he had found me. My dad must have seen what happened between us that night in his head but I didn't care. All I could think of was the last thing I saw before he put me down on my bed. _

_Jake's face. He saw Eddie take me to my bedroom and kissing me softly on my cheek. He looked like he was in so much pain. Pain like I couldn't imagine. _

_*End of Flashback*_

That was the last time I saw him. Both actually. And now he was here. I didn't know why he came or how he knew I needed him but he came anyway and that's all that matters.

Our relationship has always had its ups and downs. No downs like these but still… We always got through everything together so I knew that we were going to do it again.

It had always been like this. And I wish it would continue like this till the end of times. Just like this… Easy… Simple… Amazing…

That's just the way it has always been. He was my sunshine and I like to think I was his. I guess it made things easy.

After a while I just couldn't take it anymore. The silence was killing me ever so slowly.

"I'm sorry Jake."

"For what?"

"For what I did. For not seeing how you felt about me."

"Does you being sorry changes anything?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean does it mean that you love me like I love you? Does it mean that you are over Jasper? Does it mean that you'll never see that guy again?"

"I… Don't know what to say…"

"Just tell me the truth. Don't be scared. It won't change anything for the worst. I'll still be here in the morning."

"Than… I guess my answer is no." He was silent for a while so I just decided to say something myself but before I could he beat me to it.

"Okay." What? That was it? "Just know that I will never leave you like this ever again understood?"

"Yes."

"And that I will love you forever okay?"

"Okay." I couldn't help but chuckle. He could be so corny sometimes.

"Good. Now go to sleep Ren…"

"Okay Jakey. I love you."

"I love you to Nessie."

"Don't call me that…"

"Like I said before… You will always be my Nessie."

"And you my wolf."

"I hope so…"

Hope… What a strange feeling. But I guess that's what I feel right now. Hope that everything will be okay. That the sun that once shined like crazy will shine again even if it's just a little.

**...**

**So… What do you think? How do you want things to end between Ren and everybody? **

**I'll be very happy if you review… So go ahead and do it :D**


	7. Confusion

**Chapter 7 – Confusion**

**RPOV**

As I woke up the morning after my big fight with dad I could still smell him. Jacob. He must have spent the whole night with me. He's my best friend. I don't know what I would do without him. Just one night with him and I'm already doing better. I woke up and went downstairs to eat breakfast. My mom was incredibly surprised on how hungry I was. I guess I was just starving because of the days I spent barely eating anything at all.

"Hey mom! How are you doing?"

"Hey honey… I'm doing good… How are you?" She looked pretty shocked but whatever.

"Same here…"

"Is there something you want to tell me?" She knows me so well sometimes…

"Yeah, actually there is. I'm going over to Jake's house today, is that okay?" Say yes, say yes! Please say yes!

"Yeah… I guess that's okay. Have you talked to tour dad yet?"

"No… And I'm not going to so just drop the subject."

"Fine, fine… But you know he didn't mean to say those things."

"Sure he didn't…"

"Don't act all sarcastic on me! Your father is very sorry about the way he treated you! You know he loves you and only wants what's best for you."

"I know mom… But,"

"No buts! Have you got any idea how much pain you've put us through?! I've finally realized the pain I caused Charlie when I did the exact same thing when your father left!"

"I'm sorry mom… I didn't want to cause you any kind of pain. I was just so mad and sad that I just forgot about you guys. But I'm better now and I promise I won't hurt you again. And I know that what he said is true but I guess I just don't know what to say to him…"

"Okay honey. I'm glad you're better. I hope you guys work things out."

"Who? Me and dad?"

"Yes. And other people too…" Wow… She can't know about Jasper can she?

"Oh, okay mom. I'm going to go get dressed and I'll leave afterwards."

"Okay. I'm going over to Carlisle's so bye honey. Have a safe ride."

"Thanks mom. Bye."

Wow… I had no idea my mom felt like that. I guess she's just not a feeling sharer, most of the times anyway.

I wish people would just forgive me. Especially my brother. He must be so hurt after seeing me like this. I got to go talk to him.

"Will?! Are you home?!" I shouted into the empty space.

"Yeah, I'm in my bedroom. You can come inside." So I did.

I love my brother's bedroom. It has a glass wall that goes into the forest just like our dad has in his old bedroom back at our grandparents' house. I love to sit in front of it and just stare at the trees. It's really soothing.

"Hey Will… Did you hear my conversation with mom?"

"Yeah I did… I'm not mad at you if that's what you're wandering. I used to be but I'm not anymore. I get why you were like that and it's okay. It really is sis."

"Good." God, I love my brother, he gets me so well that it's just crazy.

As I prepared to leave his bedroom he called after me.

"Hey sis? You know that guy you screwed at our birthday party?" Isn't my brother a charmer?

"Yeah… What about him?"

"He asked me to give you this."

He handed me a piece of paper. It read: Hi beautiful, do you want to go out some day? Give me a call or something, kisses. 

"Do you have his phone number or his e-mail address?"

"Yeah, I have his e-mail, it's eddie_chase... Are you really going to go out with him?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"Well he's kind of a jerk." God he can be so overprotective sometimes.

"Well that's for me to find out isn't it?"

"Whatever. Have fun at Jake's!"

"Thanks…"

After I went into my bedroom and got dressed into a pair of denim shorts, a t-shirt that read "I love NY", a pair of black converse's and the necklace Jake gave me I went into my computer and logged in so I could talk to Eddie. He was already online so I decided to jump in and say Hello.

Rennie*Cullen – Hi Eddie.

Eddie_Chase – Hey! :D

Rennie*Cullen – Happy to see me?

Eddie_Chase – Kind of :$ Why? You think that's a bad thing?

Rennie*Cullen – Nope! Just checking ;)

Eddie_Chase – Cool… So? Are we on or what?

Rennie*Cullen – Sure. Just give me the time, day and place and I'll be there!

Eddie_Chase – Good. Let's say tomorrow at 3 at the la push beach?

Rennie*Cullen – Sounds good! See you tomorrow, bye

Eddie_Chase – Wait!

Rennie*Cullen – What is it?

Eddie_Chase – Before you go can you give me your phone number?

Rennie*Cullen – Yap. It's 555-9876.

Eddie_Chase –Thanks :D Bye

I think my brother is wrong about him. He can't be as bad as he makes him sound to be like. And if he is he might just be the kind of guy I'm looking for.

After ou little online conversation I went over to Jake's, it was already 12 o'clock so I grabbed a large pizza on the way over there for our lunch.

When I got there we ate in silence and watched a scary movie. Every time a monster would pop up I would just hold his hand and burry my face in his neck. I think he liked it since he kept sighing every time I did it.

We didn't talk much the whole afternoon and even though I kept catching him looking at my bare legs and knowing how he really feels about me I just couldn't stop thinking that even though giving him hope like this is wrong it just feels so good to be with him like that. Just the two of us having fun like when I was little.

I guess I just miss how things used to be. But maybe I can get them to be normal again… Maybe…

"Hey Jake? Do you remember how we used to run around the forest like crazy people?"

"Yeah… Why?" He looks so cute when he's confuse.

"I wish things could go back to the way they used to be. Don't you?"

"To be honest, no, I wish things could move forward instead of back. You have to realize that things can't just go back to the way they were when you were little since you're not little anymore are you?"

"I guess not…"

"Yeah and I guess you've made that pretty clear at your birthday party didn't you?!"

"Why are you acting like this? I thought you weren't mad at me anymore!"

"Well I guess you were wrong! Just get out of my house Renesmee!"

"What?!"

"I said, GET THE FUCK OUT!"

So I left…

More confused and hurt than I had ever been.

…

**Did you like it? Please tell me what you think! Your reviews are really important to me so just click on that green button down there please :D**

**I would like to dedicate this chapter to my best friend since we have had many fights but we've always made trough them together :) **

**Please review :D **


	8. Being Selfish

**Chapter 8 – Being Selfish **

**RPOV**

_After what happened two hours before the "incident" at Jake's house I couldn't go back home to my angry father and confused mother, so I just went over to the cliffs and see if I could find my best friend there. She's usually there right about this hour of the day having some fun or whatever. _

_And sure enough there she was, wearing a short green dress with dark green stripes and squares and a pair of white sandals. After she saw me a big smile swept across her face._

"_.. Rennie is it really you?" God I missed her…_

"_Yap, it's me. Alive and well. Sort of…" _

"_I'm really happy you're here. I've missed you so much. You have no idea! I even thought about stopping by your house even though you told me not to."_

"_Oh, well thanks for the consideration but it was for the best. I know it would just crush you to see me like that and I don't think I can see another friend in pain…"_

"_Right… Speaking of which. How are things with Jake and everybody?" I know she was talking about Jasper but since she knew I probably wouldn't want to talk about it she didn't say anything._

"_I really don't know… I thought everything was fine with Jake but when I talked about how things were when I was little he kind of snapped at me and told me to get out of his house… I have no idea what happened…" _

"_Maybe he just needs a little more time to work things out. Just let him be, I'm sure he has a really good reason for doing what he did."_

"_Yeah, I guess you're right. So? Do you want to do some cliff diving?" _

_And that's when it all changed. _

_We jumped._

_We screamed._

_We hit the cold water._

_A wave came. _

_It pushed us against some rocks._

_Being half vampire I wasn't harmed._

_But she was._

_My best friend hit the rocks and lost consciousness._

_That's all I remember._

_They told me if it wasn't for me she would have died right there, possibly drowned. _

_They say I saved her life._

_They say there was nothing they could do. Except that there was. There was one thing they could do but nobody would. And that was to change her. Make her a full vampire. But they wouldn't do it._

_And I didn't give up..._

_I begged._

_I shouted._

_I tried to talk some sense into them._

_And I gave up._

_..._

It's been 6 months since the accident. Jake isn't mad at me anymore. He completely forgave me after he saw how crushed I was over Melanie. Even now only talking about her name makes me want to fall onto the floor and cry. But I don't do it. I haven't shed a tear since that day. She wouldn't want me to. She would want me to be strong. And I was. But I couldn't move on.

_..._

"_Nessie? Are you hearing me?" I opened my eyes to see Jake standing in front of me. I was lying in a hospital bed so I could get some rest but it wasn't working. _

"_Yeah..." _

"_Your parents told me what happened. I'm so sorry. I know how much you cared for her. And I'm also sorry for snapping at you I guess there are just so many things that I haven't told you that I need to say before moving forward so please hear me out..."_

"_Jake, please don't..."_

"_Let me finish Nessie. I know I say you will always be my Nessie like you were when you were little but the truth is that I don't want you to be just like that anymore. I want you to be my best friend and my girlfriend. I want to be with you in any possible way and it's really hard for me to see you "hang out" with other guys but if you don't want to be with me just yet it's okay. I'll be here no matter what. Do you understand that?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Good, now what were you going to say when I interrupted you?"_

"_Don't say that."_

"_Say what?"_

"_You said that you know how much I cared for her."_

"_Oh, right, of course, I know you still care for her."_

"_Yeah I do. But that's not why you said it."_

"_I know I'm sorry Nessie... But you have to realize that she would want you to move forward."_

_That was it. I couldn't take it anymore. It was 4 in the morning; I hadn't slept all night so I was angry and bitter._

"_You say forgive me? Why?! Because my best friend is in a most probably deadly coma?! That's not a reason for you to forgive me you bastard! You want to talk to me you can come when she's alright and healthy! Oh and by the way... She's not dead so stop acting like she is!"_

_..._

He was really hurt when I said those things but he understood and left. And soon after that I cried myself to sleep. And that was the last time I cried.

Nowadays I have a pretty steady routine.

I wake up at 7 in the morning and I get dressed to go to school. It's February so I don't go to the beach, I could because of my warm skin but people would think I'm weird going there with all that rain and cold. So I go to school on my dad's Volvo along with Will. I get there I go to my classes and manage to survive another day of people looking sideways at me because of Mel. When the school day is over it comes the hard part. I drive myself to the hospital to see Melanie. I sit there with her for one hour hoping that she would just wake up but she doesn't. So I get into my car and I drive to a friend's house... The same friend that has been completely supportive and hasn't tried to make me feel better unless I want him to. He's there for me when I want to and when I want to forget about everything he pretends that nothing's wrong and makes me forget.

Eddie.

I still remember the where it all started.

_..._

_I was at the La Push beach with Jake. It was the middle of September but the weather was still really warm so we went there to swim a little bit. It had been two weeks since the accident and Jake was doing the best he could to be supportive but he wasn't helping a lot so when he said he had to leave because of some pack business I was kind of relived... _

_He had left for 30 minutes. The Ocean was looking perfect so I went inside again with my flowery dress on and I kept walking inside the Ocean, after five minutes I dived and for one second I thought 'What's the point in moving forward if the world is just a big disappointment' and with that I don't come up for air. When I star losing consciousness somebody pulls me up and takes me over to the sand. _

_When I open my eyes I realize that it was Eddie. _

"_What the Hell was that Renesmee?!" Wow, be careful with the full name there buddy._

"_Doesn't matter."_

"_Yes it does. I know you're all heartbroken and shit because of your friend but you can't just go into the sea and decide to die. That's not fair!"_

"_Not fair? Not fair to whom?" I think he might be going crazy..._

"_To me! First you ditch me and don't meet me for our date just because you were in the hospital or something. And then you go and try to kill yourself?! Are you crazy? If you would die how could I be able to stalk you again? I don't want to spend my days in front of some grave! You are so selfish only thinking about yourself like that!"_

_And with that I laughed. I laughed for the first time in what seemed like forever. _

_..._

That was the day realized I did have a lot to live for and that maybe just maybe the world wasn't such a disappointment after all.

I love Jake and my family but they can't do what he did that day and continues to do every day of my life. I guess they are both really good friends to me but there's a difference between Jake and Eddie and that difference is that...

When I'm with Jake I want to smile but can't.

And when I'm with Eddie I smile and laugh and I can't stop doing it. He has truly become some sort of light in my life. He really has.

***

**I'm really sorry for taking so long it's just that I have had a lot to do and no time to write. I promise I won't take so long next time. **

**So you know what to do. Tell me what you think about this and if you want Melanie to wake up or not.**

**Oh and I promise that for now on there won't be any more tragedies.**

**Please hit that pretty little green button down there and review! **

**Thanks for reading :D **


	9. I love You

_I hope you find without looking what I look for without finding._

**Chapter 9 – I love You**

**RPOV**

I couldn't sleep at all after those nightmares. They wake me up in the middle of the night crying my eyes out. I don't really know why they scare me so much. It's the same dream I used to have about Jasper but in the end it always changes. I think it's the change. I don't deal with change very well anymore. Sometimes he tells me he has to leave and some other times he says he loves me. But nevertheless he makes me cry because either way someone gets hurt.

I guess I haven't gotten over him like I thought I had. I still think about him sometimes and about how my life would be like if we were together. It's stupid but it makes me feel better knowing that in this way no one is getting hurt.

I must have been thinking about this for a while now since my dad had to wake me up from my thoughts.

"I'll give you a dollar if you tell me what you were thinking about."

"I don't think so dad... But thanks anyway."

"Okay sweetie. So me and your mother were thinking about going to Isle Esme for a week but we're worried about letting you stay here alone since the whole family is at a big hunt trip in Canada."

"Oh... Well I don't mind staying here dad. Besides, I have my brother to stay with me and Aunt Alice and uncle Jasper are going to be back earlier anyway right?"

"Yeah I guess you're right. So you don't mind us leaving?"

"No dad. Just go and have fun. I'll be fine."

"Okay honey. In that case we are going to leave in two hours."

"Wow, that's early but okay. I'm going to the hospital to visit Mel so bye dad, have a nice trip. Tell mom I'll miss her."

"Okay. Be safe honey."

I know he has always been a little over protective but this is just too much. I can hardly wait for them to leave. I'll finally be able to go outside without anybody on my heels.

As I drive to the hospital I can't stop wondering if she's going to wake up. I always do it and I always get disappointed.

Room 243. Her room. The most awful place on earth. Good thing her parents aren't here or I would have to hear them crying and sobbing and silently blaming me... They are the only ones that agree with me. That her accident was my fault. I usually deal with it well but I don't know, I think today I just couldn't hear that. I just couldn't.

She looks pretty much the same.

Brown hair and petit figure. And her eyes. Her beautiful, loving, brown eyes. How I long to see them again.

"Hey Mel... I don't know if you can hear me but if you do I want you to know that I'll never give up on you. No matter what everybody says, you will wake up. And you're going to fall in love with my brother and you're going to live happily ever after together. I wasn't supposed to tell you that he has this huge crush on you for like forever but I guess it doesn't matter now."

Just answer me. It doesn't take that much strength to do it. Just say something!

I know it shouldn't hurt so much anymore to realize that she's not going to answer but this time it hurt a lot. There's just so much I want to tell her without thinking that it is useless.

"Oh God you're not going to wake up are you?!" I couldn't see anything anymore because of the tears that were now falling down my eyes.

"Please wake up... You can't leave me! You're my best friend you just CAN'T LEAVE ME!" Anger boiling inside of me... 5 stages of grief they say. "Can't you see that I love you with all my heart?! You can't leave me like these! You just can't!"

I was sobbing so hard right now that even with my half-vampire hearing I barely made out the sound so I'm not sure if it was my imagination or not but at the time I thought it was real.

"I love you too..." She said.

In that moment I passed out.

...

I woke up later that day at Eddie's house.

"What am I doing here? What happened, Eddie?"

"You passed out in the hospital and they called you house, your brother answered and asked me to go pick you up."

"Oh..."

"So... Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"Nothing happened..."

"Don't lie to me. They say you passed out. That's not normal Nezz... Are you sick?"

"No... I heard her..."

"Heard who?"

"Melanie... She answered me. She said she loves me too."

"Nezz... That's not possible. People can't talk while they're in a coma."

"I know... And I also know what I heard. I'm not going crazy Eddie! She's still there; she's going to wake up. I just know it."

"If you say so..."

"Don't do that. Don't talk to me like I'm not thinking straight."

"What do you want me to say Nezz? You came here every day to get over the fact that she's not going to wake up and now you say these things... I thought you were doing better, dealing with it and all but I guess you're not..."

"I just..."

"You just what?"

"I don't know what to do..."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that it's hard! It's hard to choose. Jake, Jasper, You. I don't have one stable thing in my life! She was the one thing that made sense and now... I have nothing left!"

"Renesmee..."

"What?!" I know I was being mean but he had no right to doubt me like that.

"Don't you ever say that again! You have a lot of people that love and care about you! I know you're depressed and all but that's no excuse to talk like that to not see what's right in front of you!"

"Oh yeah? Than what's that?!"

And just like that he kissed me.

At first it was a sweet kiss. Like a first kiss between two people extremely in love with each other... And then it became a much stronger and passionate kiss as our tongs caressed each others. It made me feel alive for the first time in a very long time. He was it. He was the one that helped pick me up when I was down. And that's exactly what he was doing again. He was showing me that I indeed had a lot to live for. To hope for.

After what seemed like forever he pulled away and stared at my eyes. I care about him so much but I don't love him. I never did and never will. I know I'll need him but I can't love him. And suddenly the choice became clear...

"I'm sorry Eddie."

"About what?"

"This... I, I..."

"You don't love me."

"No... I'm really sorry... I never meant to hurt you!"

"I know Nezz... I just hope you'll find whatever you're looking for."

"Goodbye Eddie Chase. Call me some day ok?"

"Of course I will Nezz."

And with that I left. I drove for what seemed like forever and ended up on a dirt road heading towards La Puch. Jake showed me this road once, not a lot of people use it since it has a lot of holes in it but I never cared about that.

When I got there I suddenly felt a strange feeling. It felt like coming home.

When I got to his house I instantly knew that he was there. It smelled like wood and summer inside his house and the door was open, the door is only open when he's home.

"Hey Jake can you came here please? I need to talk to you."

"What do you want Renesmee?" The full name... He never uses it unless he's mad but he has n o right to be. I think...

"I wanted to apologize. I want you to know that I think you're right. It's time for me to grow up. To realize that things can't just go back to the way they used to be."

"Oh Nessie... I'm not mad at you about that anymore... It's over. I get that you don't feel about me the same way I do about you. And it's okay, I'll wait."

"And what's that?"

"What do you mean?"

"What the way you feel about me? I mean, you've given me lectures about how I need to grow up and realize what I want but you haven't actually told me what YOU feel about me."

"Oh... Well I think it's pretty obvious that I love you Renesmee. With all my heart. Always have, always will. No matter what people might say I'll always be there for you."

"And I for you my wolf."

As he smiled he gorgeous smile at me I knew that that was it. That was how home is supposed to feel like. No matter what comes between us, no matter what I or him might do he will always be there for me and me for him. He's my home. My sunshine. My love.

"I love you Jacob."

"I love you too Nessie."

"No Jake... I mean that I really do Love You. Forever. Want to marry you kind of love. Want to make babies with you kind of love. Want to..."

I couldn't finish my sentence since he crashed his lips on mine. And for the second time in a day I felt alive. But this time I also felt loved.

Eddie might be my light but Jake was something else because I couldn't pretend to be happy around him.

Eddie made me smile and forget while I was with him and when I leave I feel sad nonetheless.

But if I start to smile around Jake than I'll never stop.

Eddie is like a bandage.

Jake heals me completely.

And even though Eddie loves me only with Jake I knew how it felt to be truly loved.

The kind of love that you only feel once in a lifetime.

*******

**I hope you guys liked it :D**

**Please tell me what you think; I really appreciate your reviews :)**


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